69 WAYS TO EAT OSCAR
by SuperVC
Summary: This is purely for fun, and please don't think I'm crazy. This is just because I have no inspiration, and I need to think of some other ways to keep myself from going into deep sleep. I mean life's life. I will probably update this story over TIME, in which case I will just add chapters and change the number in the title. Characters are from AI Football GGO, owned by Gordon Chin.


**569 WAYS TO EAT OSCAR**

Fry him

Stir-fry him

Chuck him in a cauldron

Just don't cook him

Brew him

Brew him with parsley

Sun-dry him, before splitting him open

Scaphisize him (consult s)

Feed him to hungry lions

Feed him to hungry hippos

Feed him to hungry dogs

Sell his dismembered body parts in a corner shop

Coax him into cooking himself

Ask his brothers to bully him, then eat him

Cover him in honey, then chuck him in a fly-infested part of Chile

Spit roast

Sell his organs on the black market to a very hungry man

Pretend he is a pig and put him in a butcher's shop

Murder him, then eat him

Accidentally murder him, then eat him

Shove him into a time portal, then eat his mum when she was pregnant

Shove yourself into a time portal, then eat his mum when she was pregnant

Crack his head open with a brick

Cut him, wait for him to bleed out, then drink his blood

Try and sell him to Uncle Ball

Roast him in an ancient Bronze Bull

Infuse him with your cocktail

Put him with two burly men on an island, and starve them, leaving them with no choice but to eat Oscar. Then brand it as a social experiment

Take someone's stomach out, then wrap him in it.

Mix him with soy sauce and mushrooms.

Decapitate him, and stuff his head in a roasted pig's mouth

Beaten then eaten

Ask him to jump into the stomach of a monster, then eat the monster

Whack him with a sterile bat, then eat him

Chew him

Gobble him

Munch him

Digest him

Drop him from a tall building into someone's oesophagus

Latch him to a tractor, drop that from a tall building, and make sure the whole thing also lands in someome's gullet.

Pamper him, and feed him butter everyday, untill he is obese, and cannot run away (from you and your causes)

Consult my list of vegetables in my profile, and choose whichever one you like the most. Then eat him with a side of whichever vegetable you chose

Mince him

Whack him on the side of the pavement, and eat him

Cut his meat off, then throw him into a restaurant's supply van

Launch internal tapeworms

Feed him to the penguins

Cut his major arteries and throw him into the sea, with sharks

Ask him to introduce himself to indigenous Amazon tribe's people

Cremate him and scatter him across Asia

Cremate him and scatter him across Europe

Cremate him and scatter him across America

Cremate him and scatter him across any other continents I missed

Anchor him to the bottom of the sea, and wait for fish to devour him

Get your friend, and pull him untill he splits like a pinata

Make him eat magnets, then throw him next a super strong one. Wait like a vulture untill it is your turn to feast

Sprinkle some lemon juice, and serve with a side of onion chutney

Bake him

Get your family, and together chain him to a table, with his head popping out. Thus, take turns to bash his brains out and put it into a soup with a spicy base.

Drown him in a barrel of red wine

Bend his bones as many times as needed to fit in a bowl, and then just eat him

Make him snort eggs, and then put him in hot rice. Voila, egg-fried rice with big chunky bits of Oscar.

Throw him into a fire-place, and offer him to the Greek Gods, as they do in Percy Jackson

Put him on the euthanasia coaster, pretending it to be fun

Introduce him to cannibals

Wrap him in a bun, and show him to Timmy

Tell Cat he and Shawn are dating

Send him to space without a space suit. He will explode. Hopefully his parts will drift into SOMEONE'S unwitting oral orfice

Expose him to Master Huytin's PMs/ANs

**AN: When you see this, you can really tell that I have no inspiration. Anyways, I will probably want to carry this dumb project on, so what I will do is simply change the number in the title, and add a new chapter. Farewell, and I hope you TRY THIS AT HOME **

**Also, on a serious note, I can't begin to wonder how this community has grown since I joined. I joined exactly on the start of year 2018AD (for you historians in 1000 years reading antique fanfiction), and since then, between four people, we have racked up 50fifty50 stories. I really believe that this community is a special one; one that will continue to grow due to the endless charisma onboard our community, even though won't even give us a proper category. I will see this community through to the end of my days, and I will never give up on this special bunch. **

_**~SuperVC**_

_**30th December 2019 AD**_


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